max s. gerber(the latest shot)

i just got back from a very stressful week in new york. stressful because of random scheduling difficulties, family pressures and the general feeling of unrest and unease that new york city causes me. i’m the only person i know who hates traveling. i’ve recently given up thinking that everyone else is wrong and i openly - if begrudgingly - acknowledge that i’m probably the odd man out here. but as a freelance photographer, never really knowing where the next job is coming from, or more importantly, when it’d be coming, my life is based largely around being available for my clients. all the time. at any time. one way i can do this is by staying put and not agreeing to be absent from my desk for any longer than absolutely necessary.

but some important things needed to be attended to out of town, and i’m all right with that. i kicked my cold just in time for my trip.  (just as a side note, the worst thing about having a heart problem at this stage in my life is that when i get sick i’m not supposed to take decongestants. that can make anyone miserable. i cheat and take half doses of nyquil. don’t tell my cardiologist. so far i’m okay. but for everyone else out there, don’t listen to me, do what the box says.)

amidst the general chaos of new york city i was able to finally meet jonathan saunders. i was stoked about this, as i’m a big fan of jonathan’s. jonathan lives in #1RN in hell’s kitchen, in an apartment that tim archibald accurately describes as something that should be “preserved in the smithsonian as the home of the undiluted photographer.” really, it’s an awesome apartment. kind of like a museum of photographic genius/obsessiveness. i’m jealous of the artfulness of the whole thing, and the dedication, but i’m happy with my nice house in pasadena. jonathan wants to escape new york, which i wholeheartedly support, and i hope he can figure out a way to do it happily.

jonathan happened to live around the corner from lucky’s famous burgers. i’ve determined that lucky’s is the only place in new york city that offers fountain sodas and free refills. he doesn’t drink coffee, i don’t drink alcohol, and i’m a big believer in the free-refill. that’s something that exists everywhere in los angeles, but for some reason (the general awfulness of the place) the only way to get a coke in NYC is in an 8 ounce bottle for $3. anyway, jonathan was nice enough to take time to meet up with me, and it was the least i could do to buy the guy a cheeseburger. i mean, hell, #1RN doesn’t even have a stove.

this was on april 1st, and i was hoping jonathan would decide to take my picture. unfortunately, before that happened i got whisked away by the cyclone that is my big sister. the next day, though, i was able to go back and become a part of jonathan’s series on people who visit him, with out you. i’m rarely happy to get my picture taken. i don’t think any photographer ever likes it. i’ve always said that those people who actually like having their picture taken often have other serious character flaws as well. but in this case it was an honor. even though i look weird. and jonathan was nice enough to let me turn the tables on him, albeit briefly. (see above and below).

briefly because april 2nd was a busy day. just a few hours later i taped a segment for the charlie rose show, promoting my book.  it was my first time on TV. it was a short segment, and i’m not sure when (or if) it will air. more on that later, as i find out. being on TV is a weird thing. i’m lucky in that i’m not the kind of person who gets nervous. i don’t have stage fright. i’m not nervous talking in front of groups of people, i don’t have a problem talking to strangers, or pretty girls, or pretty girls who are strangers. i guess i just figured a long time ago that however i am i’m just kind of stuck with it so i might as well not worry.

i’m also never particularly starstruck. i grew up in a showbiz family so i learned a long time ago that celebrities are just like normal people, except that nobody ever tells them that their neuroses are annoying everyone else in the room.

the charlie rose show is filmed in the bloomberg building next to bloomingdale’s. it’s a big glass and steel sort of place, and for a small potato such as me there didn’t seem to be a dressing room. i changed into my shirt and tie in a bathroom stall, and then was quickly whisked off to a makeup chair where a very nice woman named gina spray painted my face with an air compressor.  it’s a weird feeling. i’ve never worn makeup, partly because i’d like to think that nobody’s looking at me and partly because i’m a male. after the makeup they moved me quickly down a hallway and then into a big black room where all of a sudden i found myself sitting at a table across from charlie rose. that would’ve been a good time to get nervous, but instead i remember thinking “gee, i hope he doesn’t ask me any technical medical questions”. he kind of did, but i have no idea what i said. the whole unedited segment lasted just under seven minutes. it’ll probably be two or three minutes once they edit it, and hopefully i won’t still sound like an idiot. if there’s one thing i hate more than looking at my own face, it’d be listening to my own voice. TV seems like the worst of the worst. . . i’d have to look at my own face and listen to my own voice all at the same time. horrible. i remember sitting in the chair in the studio and thinking to myself,  “goddamn, i wish i wasn’t so short and so scrawny. oh well.”

it’s an odd thing to make something - this book - as a photographer and then all of a sudden be a spokesman for something entirely different when it comes out. my book mostly appeals to families dealing with their own CHD kids, and as a result i’m now finding myself in a position of being a voice for these kids in some way. i don’t mind this position, i’m kind of flattered and grateful, but i also hope i don’t screw it up or get any of the information wrong. just keeping my fingers crossed over here.

anyway, thanks again, jonathan, for the hospitality. and happy birthday, cadence.